THE GOAL OF CHRISTIAN PARENTING

Fellow Christian Parents-

The goal for Christian parents is to transfer their children from dependence on them to dependence on the Lord. Sarah and I, like all Christian parents, and like you I am sure, desire Christ for our children more than anything- and although we love them fiercely and would sacrifice ourselves for them (Romans 9:1-4)- it is not our sacrifice that they will need. Ultimately they need the sacrifice of Jesus. Now, to be sure, the many sacrifices that Christian parents make on behalf of their children are important in that they serve as a reflection and a reminder of THE sacrifice that Jesus made for them. Christian parenting at its best should be like that--- our example serves as a living reminder of Jesus to our children. However, our sacrifices are not enough--- they only point to the one sacrifice that is needed above all else.

So, over the years as our children mature, growing less and less dependent on us they should seamlessly grow more and more dependent on God. Ironically, as our children grow in stature--- as they mature and separate from their parents--- they will hopefully become more and more like a little child, joined in complete dependence on God in their relationship with Him. That time of transferal is most typically the messy teenage years when parental control gives way to influence and everything seems to be hanging in the balance.

Freedom is inherently dangerous, isn’t it? Freedom can be used in self-destructive ways or in ways that hurt others. Freedom can be used to become addicted to drugs, or to commit horrible sins with serious, long-lasting consequences, or scariest of all freedom can be used to reject Christ and eternally walk away from our deepest hopes for our child. That’s the scary side of freedom, and we might wonder why God would allow something so scary and potentially damaging as freedom were it not for the fact that freedom is also wonderfully full of potential because it is only in freedom that a person can truly turn to Christ for themselves.

More than wanting my children to go to church with me, I want them TO WANT to go to church. A parent can force the former, but not the latter. That’s the real difficulty we face as Christian parents. We can command the forms of worship but not the attitude. How can we give our children a desire for the things of God? The simple answer is that we cannot. Only God can do that, and we were simply not designed to carry that load. We should pray for them, and make visible our own cherishing and treasuring of Christ, but what we can bring to their ears only God can bring to their heart. Don’t saddle yourself with such a crushing weight. Enjoy your God, and pray that He would give your child the capacity to treasure Him also.